


Virginia is for Lovers

by Lady_FoxFire



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24688714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_FoxFire/pseuds/Lady_FoxFire
Summary: You find yourself in an unwanted marriage contract.  Your death is not an option, your future spouse and in-laws’ deaths might be an option.  That is until Neville shows you how to escape and perhaps a way to deal with a Dark Lord who just doesn’t want to die.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series nor do I make any money from this story.
> 
> Bad Author Notes: My editor says this story is major crack but my Muse says its path that other have looked down at but never explored, so she decided to explore it.

Harry stormed into the boy’s dorm, slamming the door behind him. “I can not believe that they did that to me!” Harry snarled.

“Dumbledore, Snape, or the Ministry?” Neville asked from where he lounged on his bed, a book in his hand.

Harry spun around to face his roommate. “Neville! What are you doing here?”

“Reading,” Neville held up his book. “And it is my room too.”

“Right,” Harry ran a hand through his already messy hair. “Sorry. Not thinking straight. I am just so…”

“Angry. Upset. Frustration. Irked,” Neville suggested.

“Irked?” Harry echoed back. “Irked does not come close to describing how I feel.”

“Right,” Neville said with a chuckle. “So, does that mean it is something that Dumbledore or Weasley did.”

Harry let out a snort.

“So, what did they do?” Neville asked.

“I found out am betrothed to Ginny,” Harry answered.

“The school broomstick!” Neville exclaimed.

“What?” Harry sputtered.

Neville chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before saying, “You know I was made a Prefect after that incident with Ron…”

Harry nodded his head.

“Right. Well you know Prefects have to patrol the hallways after curfew to catch students out of bounds. But what you probably do not know is that we are also required to check certain locations of the castle before curfew,” Neville told him.

“Broom closets,” Harry stated.

“And other locations,” Neville added on. “Some ambitious 7th year turned an unused classroom into something out of 1001 Arabian Nights. And no one is allowed to mention the S&M room.”

Harry shook his head in shock. “Hermione never said anything about this.”

“Hermione is not required to check these locations,” Neville told him.

“She did not react well to something she saw?” Harry suggested.

“You have to understand, I was not patrolling with her at the time so all I have is hearsay, but while on patrol Hermione came across a room that was being used and she did not approve of manner in which the room was being used,” Neville said as diplomatically as possible.

“Someone was having sex in the room,” Harry guessed.

“Yes,” Neville answered.

“And she did not approve of them having sex,” Harry guessed.

“Yes,” Neville answered once again.

“Why?”

“Polyjuice and non-human hair was used,” Neville told him.

Harry was quiet for a moment before saying, “So it was something like what happened in second year.”

This time it was Neville who was silent for a moment. “I am not going to ask. So back to your betrothal, so while on patrol, it would not be odd to catch Miss Weasley in some interesting situations.”

“With Dean,” Harry guessed.

“Not exactly,” Neville said. “I do not think that Dean has caught Ginny’s snitch yet, if you catch my meaning.”

“Then with who?” Harry asked, dread evident in his voice.

“Well I can say that I have not heard of her being caught with Draco, Crabbe or Goyle... yet,” Neville admitted.

Harry groaned, “And I am being forced to marry her.”

“Maybe,” Neville stated. “Have you seen the contract? Does it have a purity clause in it?”

Harry shook his head. “I have not seen anything. They just **told** me that I had to marry her.”

“OK. We can work with this. With luck the contract does not even exist but in order to make sure, you need to contact both the Ministry and Gringotts and request a copy of all the open contracts for the Houses of Potter and Black,” Neville suggested.

“All open contracts? Not just betrothals?” Harry asked as he opened his trunk and pulled out parchment, ink and his quill.

Neville nodded his head. “It is kind of hard to explain but real betrothals, ones in which both parties are equal are written certain ways. Marriage contracts are used when one party wants control over the other. And an heir contract is written a completely different way.”

“Heir contracts?” Harry asked.

“It is an arrangement between two Head of houses so that heirs for both houses are born,” Neville explained. “For example, if Susan Bones and I had an heir contract, then I would have to father at least two children; one for the house of Bones and one for the house of Longbottom.”

“To preserve the family name,” Harry summed up.

“Or to prevent a cadet branch from taking over,” Neville explained. “And now that I think of it, request all contracts for the house of Weasley.”

Harry looked up from where he was writing the letters. “Why?” he asked simply.

“I do not expect that the house of Potter or house of Black to have any open contracts except for the one with Weasley, if it exists. I would not expect either House to spend assets blindly,” Neville stated.

“Hold on. Spend assets?” Harry asked.

“Right. This is going to be complicated,” Neville ran a hand through his hair. “First off you have to understand about greater and lesser houses. The Houses of Longbottom, Potter, and Bones, are older houses. We have our history, political power, money and magic behind us. Weasley, Malfoy, Dumbledore are lesser houses, they have less power behind them.”

“I thought Dumbledore and Malfoy had a great deal of power behind their names,” Harry put in.

Neville shook his head. “Not really. Malfoy’s power is based on the money and favours he throws around. Once the money is gone, so his power. As for Dumbledore, his power is based on the fact he defeated Grindelwald, his political power, and being the Headmaster of Hogwarts.”

“The cult of Dumbledore,” Harry said softly.

“Exactly,” Neville agreed. “To gain favour between the lesser houses and sometimes the greater house, the head of the house will offer a contract based on future assets, like future children.”

“Children are not assets,” Harry interrupted. “They are not something that should be traded or sold as if they were things. They are human beings.”

“I know that and I agree with you but not everyone does,” Neville told him. “They do not think of the life of their future grandchild or great-grandchild. They think that if it will benefit my House today, then what do I care about how it will affect the future. They trade their future child’s hand in marriage; they trade their womb and for what? For power? Money? Land? Or as a thank you for some action?”

“And you think the Weasley's have contracts like that? That Mr. Weasley did such a thing?” Harry asked.

Neville stopped for a moment. “At once time I would have said Mr. Weasley would never do anything like that. He loves his children too much to trade them. That if any contract exists, they would have been from Mr. Weasley’s father or grandfather… but now… after you came in and told me about being betrothed… I do not know.”

Harry looked down at the letters he was writing, “So you are hoping there is an older contract that will involve Ginny.”

“Yes,” Neville said simply. “Gran taught me to make sure to cover all possible angles when dealing with any form of contracts, even if the contract is buying a new plant for my greenhouse.”

Harry snorted. “I can not see there would a need for a contract about a plant.”

“You can not resell the plant to anyone but the seller or his or her heirs. All seeds, cuttings and or buddings are the properties of the sellers. If any part of the plant is harvested for potion ingredients and therefore sold, then the seller will receive 10% of the sale price,” Neville said. “And that is just a few of things I have read in contracts.”

Harry shook his head. “I guess money makes the wizard world go around.”

“Pretty much,” Neville agreed.

Harry sealed his letters then turned to Neville and asking, “Is this how the wizard world really is? Selling your children and grandchildren. Selling their happiness and future for a piece of silver?”

“No,” Neville replied. “All the different types of contracts were a way to protect the couple. To prevent a spouse from being turned out or even killed after the heir was born. Or to prevent a cuckoo from entering the house or becoming the heir.”

“Cuckoo?”

“It prevents spouse from having an affair,” Neville explained. “It was not uncommon for the family to claim that the wife had a liaison and that the child was not the child of the husband.”

“Why would they do that?” Harry asked.

“Power.” Neville replied simply. “When you or your child is the heir to the house, you do what you need to make sure no one takes your place. That is part of the reason my Gran kept me so close by.”

“Are you saying your family would kill you?” Harry gasped.

“If they could get away with it… in a heartbeat. Granted it is pretty much impossible for them to do anymore with how my parents’ contract was written. The family magic used in the contract would deal with them, if they tried **really tried to kill me**. Most of them hoped that I would die in an accident or was a squib.”

Harry shook his head. “What other dark secrets does the wizard world have that I have not been told about.”

“Tons but right now we are dealing with the _future Lady Potter_ ” Neville stated, “so get back to writing. The sooner we send them the sooner we can figure out how to get you out of this mess.”

Harry started writing again only to stop. “How are we sending them?”

Neville looked at Harry in confusion as he said, “By owl… but Dumbledore will be watching for it.”

Harry nodded his head, “Plus Hedwig is pretty noticeable.”

“And these are the time I hate my uncle,” Neville stated.

“Huh?”

“He got me Trevor instead of an owl,” Neville explained. “I mean Trevor is great in the green house, but you can not exactly send messages with him.”

“So how do you send letters to your grandmother?” Harry asked.

“I either borrow one of the school owls or I…” Neville slapped himself on the forehead. “I am an idiot.”

“Okay,” Harry drew out the word.

“Fearn,” Neville replied simply

“Fearn?” Harry echoed.

“She is a house elf that helps me in the green house,” Neville answered.

“At the school?” Harry asked in confusion.

Neville shook his head. “No. She is a Longbottom house elf. Actually, I think she was my mother’s house elf.”

Harry nodded his head. “Right. Do you think she will be able to make the delivery for me?”

Neville shrugged his shoulder. “At the very least, she will take them to the manor and use the owls there to mail them out.”

Harry sighed in frustration as he stopped writing. “Which leaves the problem of how do we receive the replies without having Dumbledore interfere.”

With a groan, Neville flopped back on to his bed. “Write in the letters that their replies need to be sent to Longbottom Manor. Fearn can deliver them to me once she receives them. At least this way, we will receive the contracts from Gringotts.”

“And not the Ministry?” Harry asked as he put quill to paper again.

“To put it simply… the reading and comprehension level at the Ministry is not that high,” Neville stated.

Harry groaned softly to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

It was three days after the letters had been sent when Neville sat down next to Harry while he was researching a paper for Transfiguration.

“Hi Harry,” Neville said with smile.

Harry nodded his head, his attention on the book he was reading. “Hey Neville.”

“I got a package today,” Neville stated.

“That is nice,” Harry replied, turning a page.

“It was from Fearn,” Neville said with a smirk.

“Really? That is good,” Harry replied as he jotted down a note.

Neville sat back in his chair and waited.

Harry continued to take notes when suddenly his writing slowed down until it stopped. Harry slowly turned to Neville. “Did you say you received a package from Fearn today?”

“Hand delivered,” Neville grinned like a manic.

“Where is it?” Harry demanded as he looked Neville over, searching for the package.

“Not here. We need time and privacy to figure it out,” Neville replied.

Harry seems to deflate a little. “Right after dinner. Someplace private.”

Neville snorted. “Well that excludes the dorm and most of Hogwarts.”

“Well, we could always use a broom closet,” Harry suggested.

Neville inhaled so sharply that he started to cough. “Not funny Potter but that actually gives me an idea.”

“Just as long as it is not the S&M room,” Harry stated.

Neville stood up. “I think McGonagall has that scheduled for this week.”

“I did not need to know that,” Harry grumbled.

“Neither did the rest of us.”

~*~

Harry looked around the room that Neville had led him to. “I really do not want to know what they used this room for.”

“Sex.” Neville said with a smirk.

“I just said I did not want to know that,” Harry countered.

“Well if you had been made Perfect instead of me, then you would know all about this,” Neville stated as he cleared off a table.

“Blame Dumbledore for that,” Harry stated.

“And McGonagall,” Neville added in. “And do not worry about this room. It has not been used since our fourth year.”

“But it looks like the Captain’s cabin of a pirate ship,” Harry whined.

“Ok and…”

Harry looked around the room again. “I really did not want to know so much about the sex life and fetishes of the staff and fellow students.”

“Is that because you are not getting any?” Neville asked.

Harry shot Neville an evil glare. “If this room has not been used since out fourth year… does the staff not know about it? Should they not have removed all of this by now?”

“Hogwarts likes to hide some of the rooms,” Neville said carefully.

“What?”

Neville ran his hand through his hair. “Ok this is a theory that some of the Perfects have. They think that Hogwarts hides these rooms from the staff because… because Hogwarts is a pervert. I do not agree with this theory. Hogwarts is more of a romantic... with a kink or two.”

Harry stared at Neville in shock.

“Okay, the Perfects have access to the Big Book of Rooms, and yes that is its title, which lists what is in the room, where it is and how to find it. Now the staff can not read this book…. They say the pages are blank if they try. And if someone tries to lead them to a room, they end up getting lost and forgetting what they we are looking for,” Neville explained.

“But you said that McGonagall had the S&M room scheduled for this week,” Harry pointed out.

“Well, yeah but do not forget she attended Hogwarts too,” Neville stated.

“Right, we are getting back into a subject that I do not want to learn about,” Harry said. “So, what was in the package?”

“It is addressed to you, so I can not open it. I do not want Gringotts upset with me,” Neville explained as he pulled out a rather thick envelope which bore the Gringotts seal and handed to Harry.

“Nothing from the Ministry?” Harry asked.

Neville shrugged his shoulder. “You will probably get it tomorrow at breakfast.”

“After Dumbledore and his cult has reviewed it,” Harry added in.

Neville nodded his head.

“Right,” Harry said as he pulled a stool over the table and sat down. “I am expecting you to help me make sense of this mess.”

“Well I would expect you to do the same if someone was trying to force me to marry someone I do not love,” Neville stated.

“I will not be much help for you in the wizard world besides being someone to watch your back in a fight,” Harry replied. “But if you decided to flee to the Muggle world, I could help you then.”

Neville shared a grin with Harry at the unspoken alliance.

“Right, so what do we have here,” Harry broke the seal on the package and started to pull documents from it.

Neville started to review the documents and placing them into pile. “Weasley. Black. Gryffindor. Slytherin.”

“Gryffindor? Slytherin? I did not ask for those? Why were they included?” Harry said in shock as he stopped unpacking the package.

“If I was to guess, you are probably an heir to either one or both of them. Of course, with Slytherin, it might be by right of conquest,” Neville explained as he read over the Gryffindor contract.

“Heir of Gryffindor! But would that contract not have been fulfilled years ago? I mean did that house not die out a long time ago?” Harry stammered.

Neville shrugged his shoulders. “It all depends on which side of the family it comes from. I mean if it came from your mother’s side then that means the Gryffindor line became squibs… well until your mother received her letter. If it came from your father side, then it probably took something like being acknowledged by Hogwarts to become an official heir.”

“You mean like pulling a sword from the Sorting Hat,” Harry chimed in.

“Exactly. Of course, you could have absolutely no blood relation with Gryffindor at all and it only fact that you pulled the sword from the hat, which made you the official heir,” Neville suggested.

“Lovely,” Harry grumbled as he ran his hand through his hair. “So, what does it say?”

“Well it was written a while back so it is not the easiest thing to read but if I understand this correctly, if I have a son and you have a daughter, we cannot set up a marriage contact with anyone else until they decide they do not want each other,” Neville answered.

“Huh?”

“It is a contract between Gryffindor house and my house,” Neville stated. “Looks like it was written in the 14th century by Uther Gryffindor and agreed upon by Robert Longbottom.”

“So, we will be in-laws someday,” Harry took the document and tried to figure out the old English it was written in.

“If I have a daughter and you have a son… and I rather not have Ginny as an in-law for my future son,” Neville added in.

“Neither would I. OK the Slytherin document?” Harry asked, nodding to the Slytherin document.

Neville open up the document and started reading. “Slytherin daughter. 170 Ewes, 10 Ram, 30 Wethers, 90 Yearling and 5 border collies.”

“Ummm.”

Neville shook his head. “They are offering 300 sheep and 5 dogs for the hand of one of Slytherin house daughters.”

“OK… who are they? Which daughter? And sheep… really?”

“ _They_ are the McGonagall clan. It does not list which daughter. And at the time this was written 300 sheep and 5 dogs is a small fortune,” Neville answered.

“So why was not the contract fulfilled?” Harry asked.

Neville shrugged his shoulders. “Perhaps the girl died?” Neville suggests. “If they were offering that much for her hand in marriage then she was either a healer or a potion mistress. And if she was, she could have died from Dragon Pox or some other ailment she was exposed to. Or it could have be the man who died… lost at sea or missing in action during some conflict.”

Harry sighed. “So, if I have a daughter and she choose not to marry your son then she will have to marry Professor McGonagall’s son.”

“I doubt it. First off, McGonagall is not the head of her clan. I think she is like the second cousin to the clan chief, so she will not be a future in-law,” Neville explained. “But the real reason you do not have to worry about this contract is inflation. That small fortune of sheep, when this contract was written is now probably worth 2 to 3 million Galleons, if not more. If you approach the clan chief about dissolving this contract, I am pretty sure he will agree.”

Harry ran his hand through his hair, tugging on it at the end. “Right. Another thing to deal with.”

“Just be grateful it is not a contract requiring you to marriage McGonagall,” Neville pointed out. “Is there anything else in that package or is this all the contracts?”

“Mmmm. Two more,” Harry said as he pulled out the last two documents and handed them to Neville.

“Ah here is what we are looking for the marriage contract between Harrison James Potter and Ginevra Molly Weasley,” Neville read, a grin on his face becoming bigger and bigger with each word. “Well that settles that, you do not have to marry Ginny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cliffie is Corwalch’s fault. She told me to leave it


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Harry sat and stared at Neville, waiting for the explanation of why he suddenly did not have to marry Ginny. 

Neville sat and stared at Harry with a grin on his face.

Harry exploded after a few minutes. “Ok! Why do I not have to marry Ginny?”

“Fearn, could you please come here?” Neville called out.

With a soft pop a house elf with red hair, who was dressed in an overall appeared in the room. “Master Neville called for Fearn? Did Master Neville have a problem with the package, Fearn delivered?” she asked as she eyed the package next to Harry.

“Yes, I did call you and no, we did not have a problem with the package. You did exactly what I needed you to do, perfectly,” Neville replied.

Neville inhaled deeply before saying nervously. “I need you to ask Raedere to come here.”

“You want Raedere to come here? Master Neville remember that Raedere is still not happy with Master Neville?” Fearn said.

“I was two! Raedere should really blame Uncle Algie since he left the book were, I could get a hold of it,” Neville countered.

“And when you were four,” Fearn reminded Neville.

“That is more Grans fault,” Neville replied.

Fearn stared at Neville.

“I was a little kid. We do not know better at that age,” Neville explained.

Fearn let out a little snort before popping away.

Neville turned back to Harry to see him staring at him with a questioning expression. “I ripped some pages in a book when I was two and I coloured on a cover of book when I was four,” Neville explained.

Harry shook his head. “And Raedere?”

“He is the librarian of the manor,” Neville was able to say before a very prim and properly dressed house elf appeared in the room.

“Bad master Neville asked that Raedere appear,” the house elf stated.

“Yes. Thank you Raedere,” Neville squirmed uncomfortably. “Would it be possible for you to bring us the ‘Blood of Albion’?”

Raedere crossed his arms and glared at Neville. “Why do you need ‘Blood of Albion’?”

“Harry needs to look up some information on a girl he has been betrothed to,” Neville explained.

Raedere turned his full attention to Harry and with narrowed eyes, said, “You be Bad master Neville’s friend Harry Potter. Raedere hears house elves speak of you.”

Harry glanced over at Neville, who shrugged his shoulder before turning his attraction back to Raedere. “I hope they said good things about me.”

“Why does Harry Potter not use Harry Potter’s ‘Blood of Albion’? Why does Harry Potter need the Longbottom ‘Blood of Albion’?” Raedere demanded.

“I do not have a copy of it,” Harry admitted.

“Harry Potter’s ‘Blood of Albion’ should be in the Potter’s library in the Potter’s Keep,” Raedere stated.

Harry simply shook his head.

“Book Thief has been keeping information from Harry,” Neville chimed in.

“Evil. Stupid. Bad.” Raedere grumbled before popping away.

Harry turned to Neville. “Book Thief?”

“Dumbledore,” Neville answered. “He attempted to remove a book from our library without permission. Of course, he claimed it was a misunderstanding, that he was just looking at the book and had forgot he had it when he tried to leave the manor.”

With a pop, Raedere reappeared with a massive book, which rested on stand. “Raedere bring the ‘Blood of Albion’ for Harry Potter and Bad master Neville use but Raedere will be watching you,” the house elf stated as he stood off the side and watched them.

“So, what’s the ‘Blood of Albion’?” Harry asked after recovering from Raedere’s warning.

“A genealogy directory… technically it is only for those who lines originated in Great Britain but really covers a great deal of the world due to marriages,” Neville stated. “Ummm. Let’s say that either Padma or Pavarti married me, the book would add her family history to it going back ten generations.”

“Would it have the family history for someone like Hermione?” Harry asked.

“No, it would just list her since she is a Muggle born. If she wants to see if she is a descendent of a wizard line, she would have to go to Gringotts and ask to take an heir test,” Neville explained.

“Which probably is very expensive,” Harry said.

“Nope. 5 Galleons,” Neville answered, “but it is not recommended to take the test.”

“Because the heads of families are afraid to suddenly lose their power due to some Muggle-born finding out that they are the heir?” Harry said. 

Neville snorted as he shook his head. “Will not happen. A Muggle born, who was born from Squib lines cannot become heir of a family unless all other lines have died out. The other would be in line of power before that line. Squib line always become come cadet lines in the family. No, the real reason why everyone would discourage someone who finding out is the exact same reason we are here for you… marriage contracts. Can you imagine Hermione's face if she found out she was from a magical line and now has to marry Malfoy, Nott or Goyle?”

Harry’s face twisted up in a mix of shock and horror.

“It is better for Muggle born to start with a fresh slate and make their line want they want to be instead of being forced in an existing mould,” Neville explained “I know some Pure-bloods make it hard for them to get ahead in our community but that is our job to change it when it is our turn in power.”

“So, we do not tell Hermione about this?” Harry asked.

“Unless you want her to be Mrs. Fudge, I think mums the word,” Neville agreed.

Looking a bit green, Harry asked, “So what are we looking up about Ginny?”

Neville just smile before turning to the book. Taking his wand against the cover he said, “Weasley. Female. 1981. Great Britain.”

“What was that for?” Harry asked as the book open up and the pages started to turn themselves.

“I was telling it what family, the sex, year of birth and what country to search for. I mean we do not want a female Weasley born in 1981 from Australia, do we?” Neville explains.

“There are Weasleys in Australia?” Harry asked in confusion.

“In the early 19th century the third son of the Weasley family decided to go to Australia and make his fortune since his two older brothers, were the heir and the spare respectively. The Weasleys did not have much money even back then so he was better off taking his chances. Well he was very lucky there but unfortunately his two brother both died before having an heir, so he became heir. Not waiting to return to Great Britain and our lovely weather, he made his youngest brother regent of the Weasley line,” Neville explained.

“So, the Weasley line is a cadet line?” Harry asked.

“Well that is where it gets a bit confusing. After being the regent for a number of years, the youngest brother decided he want to be heir and therefore he declared that his brother and his heir to be dead. So, while the Weasley line in here is recognized as the main line, in the rest of the world they are just an upstart cadet line,” Neville explained.

“Will not that affect Bill? I mean I think he is the heir of line?” Harry asked.

“Nah, he is just the heir for their little family. One of his cousins is the heir of the British Weasley line,” Neville answered.

“I thought Mr. Weasley was the head of the line,” Harry's brow furrowed in confusion.

“Mrs. Weasley wishes,” Neville said. “Looks like the book has found her.”

The turning of the pages slows down until it stops. Neville stepped up and looked down at the page in the book before turning to Harry and saying, “You do not have to marry Ginny.”

“Why?”

Neville tapped the page with his finger. “Virginia Ann Weasley.”

Harry looks at Neville in confusion. “Who is that?”

“That is Ginny real name. Not Ginevra Molly Weasley,” Neville explained.

Harry ran his hand through his head. “I think I am more confused than I was before.”

Neville chuckled. “One of the few benefits of be a child and having to attend adult events is that you hear all the gossip. From what I remember overhearing, Ginny was born Virginia Ann Weasley,” Neville tapped on the page again. “But Mrs. Weasley’s great-aunt did not like the name and demanded that they change it. Mr. Weasley was very much against it but Mrs. Weasley would do almost anything to please her great-aunt… probably in the hope of being rewarded when her great-aunt passes on. After about a year, Mr. Weasley finally agreed to the name change but there is a problem. To officially change your name, especially in the ‘Blood of Albion’ it costs a great deal of money since it takes someone with very strong magic to make the change.”

“And they did not have the money,” Harry chimed in.

Neville nodded his head. “They probably made all the inexpensive changes but they never changed it in the book. And the book is the only thing that really matters. They probably assumed that you would never have a way to check or even know how to check.”

“What is to stop them from changing it now and forcing me to wed Ginny?” Harry asked.

“The contact is based on the day it was signed unless you state son or daughter of whatever family. Ginevra Molly Weasley does not…” Neville trails off before turning to the book. He once again taps the book and said, “Ginevra Molly Weasley”

The pages flutter back and forth for a moment before the book slams shut.

Neville lets out a breath of relief. “Ginevra Molly Weasley does not exist.”

Harry closed his eyes, his shoulders slumped as all the stress ran out of his body. “Thank you,” he said softly.

“My pleasure,” Neville replied.

“Can the book...” Harry licked his lip nervously. “Can the book find me any relatives?”

Neville shook his head. “I looked you up when I learned I was going to Hogwarts and you were attending... you have relative across the pond but they are distant cousins like twelve or thirteen generations removed. Anyone closer is dead.”

Harry nodded his head. “So, I am more like a Muggle born. Starting my own line.”

“With a few more benefits and headaches, after all you are _Harry Potter_ ” Neville teased.

Harry snorted. “So, when do the benefits kick in? All I have had are headaches… and murder attempts, slander and the press.” 

“They kick in when we are legal adults,” Neville answers. “We get to wear uncomfortable robes to events were people drink a lot and gossip about each other. And at the Wizengamot, we get to wear uncomfortable robes and get to listen to people whine about the thickness of cauldron bottoms and how so and so should not be punished for breaking the law since so and so is a relative of what’s his face.”

“So, the death threats, slander and press are the good parts,” Harry stated.

“Pretty much,” Neville replied with a smirk. “At least now you will not have Mrs. Weasley as a mother-in-law.”

“And thank Merlin for that,” Harry chuckled.

“We might want to review the rest of these contracts to make sure you are not betrothed to someone else like Umbridge,” Neville suggested.

“You do know you are a cruel and evil person,” Harry stated. “You like to imagine your friend married to the worst people possible.”

“Well in my defence I would help you become a widower as soon as possible, if you were betrothed to that _thing_ ” Neville stated.

“I always wondered if she is part toad,” Harry said.

“You never heard of the story of the Frog Prince?” Neville asked in surprise

“You mean fairy tale about the princess who kissed a frog and he turned into a handsome prince?” Harry asked in confusion.

“Well neither one was royalty and she did marry him but because she was unfaithful, all of their children were cursed to have toad like features,” Neville explained.

Harry stared at Neville for a moment before saying, “Eww. That is just… let’s get back to the contract. Are there any more Potter contracts?”

Neville looked over the rest of the Potter contracts. “Potter’s daughter with Broadmoor. Potter’s twin sons with Lovegood twin daughters… the Lovegood are definitely different. As it is, you are free and clear of contracts from the Potter family.”

“So that leaves the Black and Weasley contracts,” Harry stated in a distracted tone of voice. “Neville, do you think we need to go through the Weasley’s contracts? I mean what benefit is there?” 

“You mean aside from finding a contract in which Ron has to marry Pansy or Ginny is betrothed to Malfoy… there really is not any benefit,” Neville said with a sigh.

“You really want to find something like that?” Harry asked

“Yes,” Neville said sharply. “I know that Ron is a friend of yours but he is a bit of an arse.”

Harry snorted. “I know but is it really fair to inflict Ron on someone like Pansy? I know she is a bit of a b… shrew but is it really fair to force her to deal with him for the rest of her life?”

“More like the rest of his life, short as it would be,” Neville countered. “I just want to see them pay for all of this.”

“As I have been told by a number of better and wiser men, Dumbledore not included, the best revenge is to live well,” Harry stated. “Besides can you just imagine Mrs. Weasley's and Ginny’s faces when they learn that the contract is invalid?”

‘Do not forget to cast a muffling charm when they do. Both of them can out screech a banshee,” Neville commented.

Harry nodded his head in agreement. “So Black contracts?”

“Luckily there are only two,” Neville said as he grabbed one and started to read it. “This is weird…”

“What is?” Harry asked.

“The contact is for Narcissa Black and Lucius Malfoy,” Neville stated.

“But they are already married,” Harry stated. “Should not the contract be closed?”

“It should be,” Neville commented absent-mindedly as he continued review the document. “Ahh, here it is. There was a condition to the marriage. They had to have 2 male children. The first male child would be the Malfoy heir and the second male child would be a Black; a start of another cadet line.”

“But they only had one child,” Harry noted.

Neville nodded his head as pulled out his wand and tapped it against the document while saying “Contritionem contractus.” He then continued to read in silence before looking up at Harry. “As head of the Black family, you can termination this contract with penalties on the Malfoy family.”

“And you have completely lost me,” Harry commented as he looked at Neville in confusion.

“The spell I used showed me the reason why the contract was not fulfilled. It would show if Mrs. Malfoy could not have any more children or if Mr. Malfoy was sterile for whatever reason and it told me that there is no reason, they could not have any more children,” Neville explained.

Harry was silent for a moment. “So, I can dissolve their marriage.”

“With penalties. Or you could force them to father children until they had the required male child,” Neville added.

“No.” Harry disagreed firmly. “I will not want to put a child in that situation. No child should ever be unwanted.”

Neville nodded his head. “Then you can either dissolve the marriage; which may or may not make Draco a bastard, which he is anyways, or you can order changes to the contract while fining the Malfoy family a huge amount.”

“Do I have to decide this right now or can I figure out later like after the war… assuming I survive and so do they and they are not in Azkaban?” Harry babbled.

Neville nodded his head. “You can even wait until Mr. Malfoy is on his death bed and tell him that you dissolved the marriage and that he no longer has an heir,” he said with an evil grin. “Granted he will probably be dead before then thanks to the war but if he does escape his just punishment, you can always do that to him.”

Harry stared at Neville in shock. “The more I get to know you… the scarier you become. Please remind me never to get on your bad side.”

“Gran trained me well. If you cannot kill your enemies outright then make sure to drive them to do it themselves,” Neville replied.

“And I have a lot of enemies; not all of them Death Eaters,” Harry replied.

“Then that is something to look forward to. Just think of the joy on Draco’s face when you dissolve the marriage and he realize he had to either bow to you as head of the family or be clanless bastard,” Neville said with a fire in his eyes.

“When the war is over, I am going to have your grandmother teach me,” Harry declared.

Neville chuckled as he grabbed the second contract. “This contract is for…” he said before trailing off before casting the ‘Breach of Contract’ spell again.

“Nev? Neville, who is this contract for?” Harry asked as leaned across the table trying to look at the document Neville was reading.

“Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange,” Neville chuckled an evil grin appeared on his face.

Sitting back in his seat, Harry said, “I guess it is like the Malfoy one. Had to have two male children.” 

Neville nodded his head as his evil grin grew. “It is even better than that.”

Harry raised one eyebrow questioningly. “From the way you are smiling, I take it you like whatever this is.”

“There is an infidelity clause,” Neville answered.

“An infidelity clause. You mean they could not cheat on each other,” Harry replied. “But the Malfoy contract did not have one.”

Neville nodded his head. “The dowry for Bellatrix was 10 times more than the one Narcissa received. I am assuming after Andromeda ran away to marry a Muggle-born, they were desperate to save face.”

“So, they were willing to throw more money at anyone who would marry the crazy bitch and added the infidelity clause as a way to guard their investment,” Harry added in. “So, which one of them had an affair?”

“Both of them,” Neville replied with a devious grin. “Rodolphus with his brother Rabastan…”

“Ewww,” Harry shuttered. “That is just… wrong on so many levels. So, who did Bellatrix have an affair with?”

Neville shrugged his shoulder. “Some wizard from the continent or across the pond. I mean his name is not a pure-blood British wizard name.”

“So, what is his name?” Harry asked

“Tom Marvolo Riddle.”

Harry sat quietly and unmoving.

“Harry? Harry, what is wrong? Do you know this bloke?” Neville asked.

“What is the punishment for having an affair?” Harry asked cautiously. 

“Umm… well you can dissolve the marriage, inflict financial penalties, disown Bellatrix… and bind their magic,” Neville answered.

“Just Bellatrix, since she is a daughter of the House of Black or all parties involve, like Riddle?” Harry asked.

“All parties as long as they know that knew that Bellatrix and Rodolphus were married to each other. I mean Rabastan knew his brother married Bellatrix so he would be affected but if this Riddle bloke did not know then he will not be affected,” Neville explained.

“Oh, he knew,” Harry replied with a grin before it faded away. “If Rodolphus gave Bellatrix permission to have an affair, would that change things?”

Neville shook his head. “You can not cheat on infidelity clause, even if your spouse or head of family give you permission.”

An evil grin that rivalled the one that Neville had on earlier appeared on Harry’s face. “Want to help me figure out a punishment for them?”

“Even this Riddle character?” Neville ask carefully.

Taking up his wand Harry wrote Tom Marvolo Riddle in fiery letters in the air and then rearranged them to say ‘I am Lord Voldemort’.

“Fucking bloody hell,” Neville whispered as he stared at the words floating in the air.

Harry wiped away the words before turning back to Neville and saying, “Want to help?”

Neville sit back in silence for a moment. “Is binding their magic or death the end result?”

“I can cause their death?” Harry muttered.

Neville nodded his head. “It is within your right as of the head of the house to punish those who have caused damage or shame to the house. Sentencing one to death because they did not have the required number of children would be frowned upon. But death due to an affair would be accepted.”

Harry licked his lips. “I kind of… I mean… would it work? I mean… I mean he was wraith. If I sentence him to death, would he die or just lose his current body. If I bind his magic, he would be powerless but he would still have his followers.” 

“Magic plays by its own rules. Rules, we do not even know about or understand. I mean we can figure out some but not all. I think if we sentence him to death then that will free his spirit to be a wraith again,” Neville stated.

Harry nodded his head. “So, we bind his magic.”

Neville snorted. “We can do more than just that. We can destroy him.”

“How so?”

“We take everything,” Neville answered.

“Everything?” Harry echoed back in a confused tone of voice.

“We empty their Vault, we take their lands and home… if I am right you can take control of any of _his_ followers, at least those ones that were marked,” Neville stated.

“You mean Death Eaters? I can take control of the Death Eaters?” Harry asked in disbelief.

Neville licked his lips. “This summer I was able to read my mum’s journal. My mum and yours were debating the nature of _his_ mark on his followers. Your mum thought it was some type of funnel system that allows him drain magic from his followers. Just a small amount but it would make him appear more powerful than he was really is. And my mum thought it was a bondsman mark.”

“You mean a slave. Your mum thought he tricked them into being his slaves,” Harry chuckled.

Neville nodded his head. “It would explain why no one ever tried to leave his service… and survived.”

Harry stood up and started to pace the room. “How can we use this? How do we know which one was right or if both were wrong?”

“I think it is a win-win situation. And if both of them were wrong then it will not change anything with the Death Eaters,” Neville explained. “If your mum was right, then we will have a situation in which… he will have some magic. He would not have the access to his own magic but he would have enough magic to kept his body from falling apart. As for the Death Eaters, someone like Malfoy would just have enough magic not to be consider a squib. Those who had less magic would probably be a squib.” 

“Which mean he would still be active. Find followers. Rage war on the world,” Harry said in disgust.

“It is hard to rage war when you can not find followers. People followed him because he had power. He told them things they wanted to hear but if you do not have the power to back it up, you do not have followers. And you will have less followers once word spreads about what happened to your previous followers,” Neville countered.

Harry nodded his head as he stopped his pacing and leaned against the wall. “And if your mum was right?”

“Then when you take possession of _his_ properties then you should get a list of all his bondsman. At that point you can order them to go to the Auror Headquarters and have them confess their crimes. Of course, you have to make sure that they can not lie about it and claim Imperius again,” Neville stated.

Harry snorted. “Worst case scenario.”

“ _He_ and the Lestranges have their magic bound and we still have Death Eaters running around,” Neville interrupted.

Harry shook his head. “Worst case scenario, my magic is bound.”

“What?” Neville sputtered.

“My scar,” Harry replied. “Somehow through it, I am linked to him. If we bind his magic and my mum was right… I could lose my magic.”

“Then we will not do it,” Neville replied quickly. “We will do something else.”

Harry shook his head. “This is our best option to end all of this. Beside I have been planning for something like this.”

“Planning on losing you magic?” Neville replied.

“Triwizard Tournament,” Harry answered. “It was a bit of a slap in the face to learn that anyone can force you into anything. I do not know why I was so surprised to learn you can be forced into a marriage. Anyway, after that I figured I needed an escape plan. Figured that the Ministry would try to bind my magic or throw me into jail if I defeated Voldemort so I worked out an escape plan.”

Neville held up his hand to signal Harry to stop. “If this was anyone else but you Harry, I would say that they were paranoid but with who you are… an escape plan is not a bad idea. Now having said that are you sure you want to tell me anything about it? I will not tell anyone but if they think I knew something, could force me to.”

Harry shook his head. “They would probably question Ron and Hermione first before moving on to anyone else.”

“And they might over look me completely since I am not known to be a close friend of yours,” Neville added in.

Harry grimaced slightly at Neville’s words before saying, “But you are a better friend than either one of them after all you saved me from having to marry the Hogwarts’s broom stick. If I had turned to anyone else, they would have congratulated me on the upcoming wedding while breathing a sigh of relief knowing they were not the ones trapped in marrying her and having Mrs. Weasley as a mother-in-law.”

“Well I figured it was the best thing to do to prevent you from doing something stupid which would cause a blood feud,” Neville stated. “So, what is your plan… or what can you tell me of your plan?”

Harry stopped and looked at Neville. “What do you do if you were in my situation?” he asked.

Neville was silent for a moment. “So, you know that many of the common plants you see outside are poisonous? Muggle and Magical plants. The animals that thrive on them build up a toxicity from consuming them. From what I understand the Muggle world have found ways on detecting the poison but what _real_ wizard would permit a Muggle to examine them or their body.”

Harry stared at Neville in shook. “The more I get to know you, Neville Longbottom the scarier you are.”

“My gran said something similar when my great uncle Algie and gran were talking about a betrothal for me,” Neville said with a smile. “After my great uncle had to leave suddenly, my gran said that I remind her of my 3rd great grandfather when she was betrothed to my grandfather. It seems to be a bit of a tradition every few generations. A way to remind people that you can be easily removed if you differ with what is best for the house of Longbottom.”

Harry snorted. “Wish I know if the Potter house had a tradition like that.”

“The Potters are the guard dogs of the wizard world. Point them at what evil there is in the world, namely Dark Lords and Ladies and watch them rip the throats out. The Blacks were religious leaders,” Neville answered.

“Religious leaders?” Harry said in disbelief.

Neville nodded his head. “They tended to lean more to the end of life aspect. Funeral duties and making sure the spirit pass on.”

Harry shook his head in disbelief. “I mean that is kind of hard to picture with what I know about the family but it would explain why Sirius’ Animagus form looked like a grim.”

“From what you let slide it sounds like he was closer to what the family used to follow than what they follow now. Death is a time to celebrate a person life and mourn their absence from your life. Not to mourn their death,” Neville explained.

Harry nodded his head in agreement before sitting quietly for a moment. “I really hope your mum was right about this but if my mum was right then I will need you help to escape Hogwarts. I need to get to the Muggle side of London… of any place really. I just need to escape the wizard world, if she was right.”

“And you will vanish into the Muggle world, never to be heard from again,” Neville stated.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Not like the wizard world will care if I am a squib… aside from whoever wants revenge.”

Neville nodded in agreement. “You got funds, right? I know the Muggle world uses something like franc right.”

“The franc is French currency. The pound is the term you are looking for. And yeah, I have funds. Gringotts was very helpful when I transferred my vaults so they were under the Gnomes of Zurich,” Harry chuckled

“Swiss garden gnomes?” Neville said in disbelieve.

With a smile Harry shook his head. “If we get out of this alive, I will introduce you to them. The Goblins really like them since they are interested in making money and not under the Ministry thumb.”

“Anyone the Goblins like is someone you do not want to cross but I have a problem picturing them like gnomes,” Neville stated.

Harry chuckled. “So, what do we need to do get this all started?”

Neville grab a sheet of parchment and a quill and started writing. “Right, we want this to hit all of them. We want everything in their vaults. All their properties. Their sworn and bonded servants and vassals. And finally, to bind their magic.”

“Sworn and bonded servants?” Harry asked.

“Those who are unmarked but sworn to follow him and those that are marked,” Neville said, his head never rising from his work as he grabbed another sheet of parchment and started to write again. “And vassals are those who are indebted to him someway but have not sworn an oath to him. Honestly I do not think we will see any…” Neville sighed and looked up from his parchment. “Werewolves.”

“Greyback’s pack,” Harry said in understanding.

Neville nodded his head. “His pack might be considered to be vassals to him. And since Greyback likes to bite children… if we sent them to the Ministry, they will probably kill them because they are werewolves.”

“Then we better hope that one of them owns a large uninhabited island,” Harry declared. “Or we have enough gold to buy one.”

“Huh?”

“Have the goblin ward the island then stock it with goats, deer and other game animals then let the werewolves come to the island and let them run around there during a full moon,” Harry answered. “Of course, I would have them swear not to intentionally infect anyone during the rest of the month.”

Neville blinks a couple of time as Harry’s words sink into his mind. “What about employment for them for the rest of the days of the month?”

“Open a Muggle business. Something like antiques, restoration or general repair work on muggle items,” Harry listed off.

“Ok, you lost me,” Neville said.

“A person comes into the store with a broken item and asks you to repair it. You tell them to come back in three days. Take the item to the back room and cast a mending charm on it. Instant profit,” Harry explained.

Neville sat in silence for a moment. “Is everyone stupid or something? How come no one has thought of this before?”

Harry let out a snort. “I am sure that a number of Muggle born or half-bloods have thought it of it but with how things are set up, it is just easier to head to a new country and join that country’s wizard community.”

“And once again, you lost me,” Neville chimed in.

“Money,” Harry answered simply. “It takes money to set up a shop and run it until your name gets out there and you have enough business to support yourself. Most Muggle born or half-blood do not have the money to start a business and no one in the wizard world will loan them the money since they are not Pure Bloods. And they can not get a loan from someone in the Muggle world since they do not have an education.”

“So, what do they do?” Neville asked.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “I do not know. Try to find work or get their Muggle education. Maybe join the military. Some probably leave for friendlier countries.”

“We are stupid,” Neville declared as he ran a hand through his hair. “We are so concerned about blood status that we are driving the best and brightest away.”

“We can not do anything to fix that right now. Granted taking out old Tom and his twisted group of followers will help,” Harry said.

Neville picked up his quill and started to fiddle with it. “I know but what are we going to do about it? I mean if you still have your magic and the Ministry is not after you.”

“Make a shit load of money,” Harry blurted out.

Neville looked at Harry in surprise.

“I mean, just because the wizard world does not invest in new ideas and business, does not mean we can not,” Harry stated. “And if we are investing in companies run by Muggle born, half-blood and werewolves who deal with the Muggle world… who’s going to know or care.”

Neville eyes Harry for a moment. “Have you ever thought of ruling the world? It seems like you have a lot of answers for the problems of the world.”

“Quidditch practice. You end up thinking deep thoughts while flying around and around looking for a snitch. And the answer to the other question is No, I do not want to rule the world. Too many whiny people and ass kissers,” Harry answered.

“In that case I am making you my advisor if I ever decided to take over the world or at least the ministry,” Neville declared before turning his attention back to the parchment he had been writing on. “So, we got the sworn and bonded servants and vassals issue taken care of…. Which leave you rewriting this.”

“Huh?”

“It has to be in your handwriting and written on the marriage contract to take effect,” Neville explain as he slid the parchment he had been writing on over to Harry.

“This is just one giant run-on sentence,” Harry stated as he read over the parchment. 

“It has to be,” Neville replied. “It was in one of the books in the Longbottom manor. Periods and the connecting words like ‘and’ can be viewed as making it separate request.”

“And I think it is my turn to be lost,” Harry said.

“It is pretty simple. Let’s say that you wrote as part of the punishment everyone involves has to wear a red and blue shirt. What you will get is them wearing two shirts. One red and one blue,” Neville explained.

“That kind of explains it but…” 

“There is always the case that Magic, it will think you are too greedy or vengeful for asking too much. We are asking for their magic to be bound. And asking for everything they own in their Vaults. We are asking for all their properties. And we are asking for their followers and vassals. Basically, we are asking for 4 separate and different punishments,” Neville explained.

“And a run-on sentence gets around that by making it one punishment,” Harry stated.

“Exactly,” Neville said with a smiled.

Harry shook his head. “Why do I have a feeling that they do not teach this stuff to anyone.”

“Knowledge is a form of power and those who have the knowledge, have the power,” Neville admitted.

Harry just sighed as he pulled the Black-Lestrange contract over. “So, I just need to copy what you wrote on this and hope everything goes right?”

Neville nods his head. “I really do hope this works, Harry. And that you do not lose you magic in the process.”

“So, do I,” Harry said as he put quill to parchment.

For the next five minutes the scratchy sound of a quill on the parchment was the only sound in the air as Neville watched Harry copy. 

Finally, Harry set the quill down and let out a sigh of relief. “So now what?”

“Now we wait,” Neville admitted.

After about a minute the parchment starts to glow softly and slowly gold writing appeared in the parchment. Harry and Neville watched silently as the parchment lengthen to accommodate the gold writing.

After a few minutes the writing slowed and then finally stopped.

“Is that it?” Harry said softly.

Neville licked his lips before nodding. “Try casting a spell.”

Harry pulled out his wand and said, “Lumos”. The tip of his wand glowed as both Harry and Neville let out a breath of relief.

“Congratulation, Harry,” Neville said as Harry cancelled the spell, “You are still a wizard.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair. “I am not quite sure how I feel about that yet,” he admitted. 

“Trust me, it is a good thing. And remember you do not have to marry Ginny any more nor have Ron or Mrs. Weasley as in-laws,” Neville stated.

“Ron,” Harry groaned. “He is going to go ballistic when he learns I am not marrying Ginny.”

Neville snorted. “No, he is going to go ballistic when he learns that you will not be his brother-in-law and you will not be giving him money or buying him stuff. And he will not be able to use your name to get what he wants.”

Harry looked at Neville in surprise.

“Sorry, mate but Ron crowed about it to Dean, Seamus and myself the night you told me about it,” Neville admitted.

Harry pitched the bridge of this nose. “You know, I am not too surprised. Ron will be ranting at me for ruining everything. Ginny will be casting bat-bogey hexes and whatever she thinks she can get away with at me. And Hermione will be saying how disappointed she is in me. That I should just follow Dumbledore’s plan since he knows best.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Neville said as he nodded his head before he pointed at the expanded contract. “So, what are the end results.”

Harry took a deep breath before reading the updated contract. “Vault, land, manors… chattel?”

“Marked servants. Death Eaters,” Neville supplied.

Harry continued to review the document. “It is pretty much what we expected.”

Neville nodded his head, “Pink tutus.”

“What?”

“Pink tutus. When you send the Death Eaters to the Ministry so they confess their crimes, have them dress up in pink tutus,” Neville replied.

“Why?” Harry asked as he rubbed his forehead as if to ward off a headache.

“Well I was going to suggest having them dress up as clowns or mimes but then I remember that some people at the Ministry who will rename nameless… do not like clowns and they consider mimes to be clowns. And well these people tend to cast first and ask question never when they have to deal with either one,” Neville explained.

“But why pink tutus?” Harry asked.

“Just image Snape or Malfoy in a pink tutu dancing into the Ministry with the spins and jumps a ballerina makes,” Neville explained.

“My head hurts,” Harry whined softly.

“Is Umbridge on the list? Can we have her dress up as toad… but then again would anyone notice the difference?” Neville asked he pulled the contract over to him so he could read it.

Harry placed his head on the table and covered it with his arms.

“She is,” Neville announced. “Ohhhh, I know that guy. Can we have him dress up as a pig? Maybe a jack ass.”


	4. Epilogue

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Shortly after Harry Potter, with the encouragement of Neville Longbottom, had the Death Eaters and unmarked Voldemort followers dance, trot, prance, wiggle and other forms of locomotion into the Ministry to confess their crimes, Harry escaped to the Muggle world to avoid the Weasley/Prewitt tempers and to avoid Granger’s disappointment in his actions.

Many years later, after a lot of begging and cajoling from Neville, Harry returned to the British Wizard world. During their first private meeting in the Longbottom manor, Harry presented Neville a Muggle binder and instructed him to read it.

“Muggles wrote this?” Neville asked half way through the document.

“Yes,” Harry replied.

“Why?"

“Why did they write it or why did I give you a copy?” Harry asked

“The first… both,” Neville sputtered as he turned this page. “This dangerous! I mean I do not understand half of these but they rest… Sweet Merlin!”

“From what I understand it starts when some friends were talking about blunders that the villains in books, plays and movies committed and someone started to write them,” Harry explained.

“And they shared it with others? How did you get a copy?” Neville demanded.

“It is on the web,” Harry replied. “Think of it as library which Muggle can access through computer. But you need to be careful since anyone can post anything on the web whether or not it is true or not,” Harry explained.

“You do realize that if the Dark Lord had this list, he would have won,” Neville stated.

“If old Tom has this, he would have destroyed it. He was an egomaniac and would never have accepted something that told him what he was doing was wrong,” Harry countered.

Neville nodded his head. “I can see that but why give it to me?”

“Well you did say you were going to make me your advisors when you took over the Ministry,” Harry replied.

“You think I am going to take over the Ministry?” Neville sputtered.

“Or the world.”

Neville was quiet for a moment. “Where are we going to find a 5-yr old child? Neither one of us are married.”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “I am sure that one our werewolf vassals or one of the Muggle-born and Half Bloods, we invested in has a least one 5-yr old child.”

“What about money? It takes money to take over the Ministry and even more the world,” Neville countered.

Harry smirked. “I see you have not been following our investments.”

“What investments?”

“The Muggle born who was also a potion genius. We helped fund his Muggle education. Well it turned out he figured out a way to modify a couple potions so Muggle can use them. And we get 10% of the profit from the sales of these Muggle potions,” Harry explained.

“And you expect them to sell well?” Neville asked. “What are they?”

“One is Dilata Calvitium, which is a potion for baldness. The Muggle name will be Rogaine. And the other potion is Impotenti Finem Ut Peritt and its Muggle name is Viagra,” Harry explained.

Not long after that meeting, the world is a different and much better place.

The End


End file.
